What if I returned home? Then
what? The reason I'd come to Tokyo was because I'd had no
opportunities at home. So now, even if I could scorunge up
enough money by begging to go home, I would still run uinto
a dead end. I'd have to work hard. Work hard until I died,
as Tanka used to say. That way perhaps I'd be able to find
a way to survive even when faced with a dead end.
When I thoguht about Tanka my
spirits lifted a bit. I'd had a horrible newspaper boss, but
I'd also met Tanaka there. The Japanses used to say: There
are evil spirits in the world, but there are also buddas.
Suddenly I felt very light hearted, thinking about Tanaka.
I sat there thinking dazedly.
My mind wondered and I started thinking about the events surrounding
my father's death. I trembled. People like that newspaper
boss - - those who sucked our blood, carved our flesh, and
squeezed our spinal fluid were one and the same in our town.
Why else had my mother sent me to this far way place? I wouldn't
be here if hadn't been for them. My mother loved it when our
family was together. I loved the quietness of the country
life as well. If it weren't for the fact that I'd run into
a dead end there, I'd still be with my family, enjoying the
tranquility of country life.
Our family has always been a
self-sufficient farming family. We owned two hundred acres
of rice fields (wet fields), and five hundred acres of dry
fields. Everyone on our family worked hard and spent their
money sparingly. We didn't have any difficulties managing
our lives.
That is, we didn't until
a few years ago. That when the sugar company in our hometown
declared that it wanted to open its own farm. They wanted
to force us to sell our land to them. The farmers were furious.
Farmers feel their land is as important as their own lives.
So except for a few, who had accumlated large debts, none
of the farmers were willing to give up their land. The sugar
Company
was backed by the Japanese government, and they weren't going
to relent once they decided to do something. A few days later,
the police summoned all family heads to a meeting. All landowners
in the village received a notice requiring their presence
at the meeting. The notice also stated that people were required
to bring their seals to the meeting. I was only fifteen then
- - I was in the fifth grade. Although many years have passed
since then, those events left a deep impression on me and
I still rememebr everything quite clearly.
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