"What happened?" The old man
looked at me with a puzzled look. I couldn't answer him. Perhaps
he'd never seen wnyone cry upon receiving so much money. He
looked at me anxiously. For a moment I completely forgot his
existence - - in my mind, nothing existed but my mother. My
mother's words filled the whole earth.
I ran into my room and ducked
under the covers, weeping. Her letter said: "I have received
your letter - - about the recession in Tokyo, and how hard
it is for you to find a job right away. You had hardly any
money left when you left, you don't have any acquaintances
there, and you don't have a job yet. Thinking about how miserable
situation you're in makes my heart feel tight day and night.
I haven't been able able to rest. Our village is in the same
sort of situation. Since they opened the factory farm, things
are like this, you must not give up and come back. The thought
of returning home must not enter your mind."
"I sold
the house for one hundred and fifty dollars, of which I am
sending you one hundred and twenty dollars. You must find
something to do; work hard, study hard. You must not come
back to take care of your youngest brother until you succeed.
Your sisters, A-lan ad A-tie both died. Your little brother
A-mien si the only one left and your uncle is taking care
of him now. I am so feeble I don't think I will live much
longer. I have kept thirty dollars for my funeral since I
do not want to burden others.
"Your
mother prays for your success very day. Until you succeed,
you must not come back for any reason. It is like hell here.
Everything leads to a dead end. These are my only wishes -
- you must remember."
The letter was her last will
and testament. I was anxious and worried. Could she be dead
already? Once this thought entered my mind I couldn't get
rid of it. Nonsense - - it couldn't be. Rolling over, I shook
my head, muttering to myself loudly. I tried to erase these
unlucky thoughts from my mind but to no avail. I couldn't
sleep, but I was numbed. I couldn't even feel the jumping
lice attacking me anymore.
My mind was filled with thoughts
of my mother and our broken family. I climbed out of bed to
look at the date on the letter. It had been sent before I
left to look for the newspaper job. Twenty-odd days had passed
already.
Prev |46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56| Next
|
