She hadn't written another letter since then. Now
that I had money in my pocket, I thought about going home
to see what happened, but I couldn't be sure that I would
be able to return to Tokyo. Mother didn't want me to go back
to Taiwan. She had said there were no opportunities for me
at home, but it was the same in Tokyo. Before I returned to
Taiwan I wanted to find Tanaka to bid him farewell and to
return the money I owed him. He was such a wonderful person.
I didn't want to dissappoint him.
I lay in my bed awake, waiting
for the first train of the next day. I left the hotel very
early that morning. I waited for the train for a long time.
The sun hadn't risen yet. After climbing onto the train I
stuck my head out the window to let the cold morning air blow
on my face and clear my mind. My thoughts were blurred from
not enough sleep and too much excitement. I relaxed a little
bit. Perhaps this would be my last time in Tokyo. These thoughts
made me completely forget about the wicked looks of the boss
of the Osaki Newspaper Dispatch. I wanted to forget about
the unhappy events of the past, yet there was something that
remained in me that I couldn't part with.
There weren't very many passengers
in the car, but they all looked like they had places to go.
Those that had a heavy oily smell were probably coming home
from a night shift in the shipyard. Those who carried lunchboxes
and were wearing clean cloths were reporting to work. Although
there were many unemployed in Tokyo, there were also people
who
had jobs, How could this enormous city fail to accommodate
one more person?
The night before I'd thought
about my mother incessantly. I wanted to go back to Taiwan
to see what had happened. But now I was uncertain. There were
no opportunities for me at home. "You must not come home before
you succeed... " The words of my mother's letter loomed in my
head.
XIV.
My heart was filled with contardictions.
On one hand I wanted to go home. On the other hand, I knew
that it would be hard to find a job at home. I couldn't find
a job in Tokyo either, but if I stayed I might get lucky and
find one. I think that Tanaka's character influenced me a
great deal; our frinedship played an important role in the
fluctuation in my feelings. The newspaper boss had deceived
me, but I had still met Tanaka and the other newspaper boys
who supported themselves while studying in school. I got off
the train.
Prev |47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57| Next
|
